once-ling:

oncelers-eyelashes:

lifeonthebuttscene:

vaspim:

3 AM and your phone buzzes. you get a text. it reads, “i messed up. i cut.” you let out a heavy sigh and look outside your window to see another tree gone. when will your friend give up his lumberjack ways

i was not expecting this

this fucking bitch

(via paperplatelephant)

buttholeos:

i was checking out at target and this guy was being really flirty with me and his nametag said rosemarie so when i left i said “have a good night rosemarie” and he said “rosemarie??” and i pointed to his nametag and he said fuck very loud then said “they are always fucking doing this to me”

(via dpet18)